A Cuddly Toy Writes ...

While Douglas lies sleeping, recovering from several nights of geek revelry, we'd like to take this opportunity to reveal the truth about that man's morals and reliability. (N.B. The Dog can use the laptop and is familiar with Serendipity's user interface, but be assured that he's voicing our collective opinion.)

Imagine how you would feel if you were a young cuddly toy. You hear that there is a unique conference to take place at Edinburgh Castle, in your home town. You haven't been allowed out of the house since a trip to the beach almost a year ago! Then life takes a turn for the better when you're told that you will form a key part of Douglas' presentation and will also be allowed to attend the Gala Dinner.

You'd be quite excited, of course.

We were brushed up, cleaned and re-arranged on the comfy seat in preparation for the arrival of an international speaker. It's a little unfortunate that he chose to discuss sport and servers in his blog, rather than our late night discussions together, but we quite liked him. He's ok. We found his accent a little tricky to understand until we started drinking vodka.

Then, on Wednesday morning, we all accepted that we would have to be locked in a dark suitcase for the trip to The Castle. It was a little strange leaving the comfy seat empty, but would definitely be worth it.




The trip was a little bumpy because of the cobbled streets, but eventually we came to a stand-still
and could hear the sound of projectors being set-up. Our moment had arrived.

Except it didn't arrive. We could hear Douglas speaking - something about DTrace, but who cares - and then he kept speaking (he's like that) and kept speaking and then just stopped. We were still in the suitcase. Then some strange Dutch chap started speaking about Dataguard. Then we realised that we'd been forgotten!! Apart from Flatcat and Alex/Pierre being plucked out for a few brief moments, thanks to our new best friend Alex, that was it!!!

We are fuming with rage. We have had enough. Those cobbled streets and the way we were crammed into that suitcase made it the worst 'day out' we've ever had. Gala Dinner? Well, we could hear some old man talking about Oracle (that's all these guys ever talk about) and could smell salmon and chocolate but that was about it. Enough is enough. Housemate of the Month? Forget it. We will not sell our souls to prop up this man's blog. Would you?

We realise we have a number of fans out there, but Housemate of the Month is cancelled. We'll review our position on the 30th June.

All our love.

The Boys (and Polly) xxxx

P.S. Our ironing board is best.