I have no idea how many parts, so let's just pick a random number. One thing that surprised me when I had the occasional burst of contact with Jof recently was just how well he remembered the past but I'll stick to what I can remember so it might be a bit more limited.
- The first time I met him ... me deep in emotional and financial trouble (as usual), turning up at Ocean with my barely-written first demo of Grog's Revenge. Him liking it. Me being very pleased. (Even more pleased later when I learned how high his standards were)
- When I got engaged, Jof came up to Edinburgh soon after. Must have been 19 years ago? For an engagement present he bought me a portable CD player and two CDs. One Bomb The Bass (who we both liked), one William Orbit (way ahead of his time, as always).
- Dancing with each other every weekend in Macmillans (?) night club in Liverpool. We weren't gay and didn't hate women, just utterly petrified of them and didn't really understand the *point* of going to a club. Well, we did, but just the getting drunk and dancing bit 
Had a fantastic time, anyway.
- His glasses steaming up when we'd be eating the Chinese after getting home from the club. He *hated* that. He was *so* pleased when he switched to contacts. Virtually life-changing for him, although I always thought he looked weird without glasses
- The night we watched Liverpool 'tame the Beastie Boys' and a copper gave me a good hard slap!
- When I first worked at Ocean I had a bedsit. Coin-operated electricity meter and I had one of those mini-ovens that you can put on a kitchen work-top. Joffa stayed the night and, despite me putting the oven on as a heater and feeding the meter with coins, it may have been a little cold. He told me that they'd built a special freezer room for 'The Exorcist" so that the actors breath would steam up and that's what my bedsit was like.
That was the thing. I was the crazy mixed-up kid and he'd chuckle at my misadventures whilst trying to help me out whenever he could.
This might go on forever. Not right now though ....
P.S. Yeah, well done spammers. I'm going to have to shut off comments to this post again. Hope you can look at yourself in the mirror in the morning. Scum. Anyone who is not spamming scum and wants to talk about Jof, just drop me a mail and I'll post the comment for you.
Friday, July 2. 2010
Random Memories of Jof - part 14
Tuesday, June 29. 2010
Sob, Sob
Sob, Sob!
That's how I finished this brief announcement. "Sob, Sob" was a character that Jof invented in his teens. He was a gifted cartoonist. He was a gifted film-maker, artist, human being and games programmer as well and, although I never heard him, I'm sure he was a gifted DJ too. Jof excelled at everything he did, apart perhaps from his inability to deal with most human beings face to face. Don't get me wrong, he was funny as hell and his friends loved him to bits, but human contact was a much bigger struggle for him than anything else. Particularly with women. But I knew him in his 20s mainly, so maybe that track record improved.
Which brings us back to Sob, Sob! We'd known each other quite a while before he started to show me his 'other' artwork, away from games. Sob, sob would go through life with the best of hopes and intentions but life would turn back on him and the final frame would just feature him saying 'Sob, sob'. Pure Joffa. Laughing at emotions and melancholia (he was a Widnes lad, after all) but being painfully aware of them. He always cared much more about films and art than he did about games, but games gave him an immediate outlet for his artistic bent and, better still, he turned out to be a top, top technician.
He never sucked up, never made 'the right move' and never attempted to grab the limelight when I knew him. He was anti-fame and virtually anti-recognition, which is why he originally wasn't held in the same regard as people like the teams at Ultimate, Imagine, the Matthew Smith's et. al. His games were appreciated by kids in bedrooms, though, and when those kids revisited their youthful years on forums at WOS, (where he used another old alias of frobush), he discovered that actually people did love him and his work and I think (mainly judging from his postings) he enjoyed the appreciation more than I ever remember him enjoying the original experience of being a games programmer. I'm so glad that he found that appreciation in the end. He always knew he was good, but to be loved by people who would accept his eccentricities was a different thing altogether.
Ah, eccentricities! Many of the tributes have mentioned him being as daft as a brush. There's no question that he had an enormous internal world of imagination and feelings, but I also remember him as being incredibly down to earth and although we'd have a brilliant laugh and he loved the absurd, he wasn't quite as crazy as he seemed from some of the WOS forum postings. But Jof's big thing was that he was always just having a laugh anyway. He was, but that was often to cover up a pretty deep and emotional guy. I think he liked to play up to being a little crazy. But, as many forum posters have recognised, everything was just a big piss-take with Jof. That was his form of anarchy.
I suppose by some standard definition of these things, we lost touch. Actually, we didn't and we'd have the occasional burst of contact, a couple of days mail flurry or a long phone call and everything would instantly feel the same as the old days, but we hadn't spent much time together for a long time. Therein lies the dilemma. My guilt is nothing compared to the pain he obviously went through recently and his family are going through now but I remember him in happier times and wish I'd done more to make him happier later on. I was delighted when we discussed him getting into DJ-ing and partying because I knew he'd have a great time, open up to other people a lot more and it might make him happier. Actually, I remember seeing him in that time and he did seem a lot happier and had changed and I was reassured. But he deserved better from me.
When I saw last year's Byte Back conference being organised, I stuck it in my diary. I was going to turn up and surprise him and was really looking forward to it. Then, sigh, sh*t happened and I couldn't go. I wish I had now, or checked the forums in May or June and could have seen him again.
Joff achieved so much in his life, regardless of whether he thought he had. He did certain things with a Spectrum that others hadn't yet (although he did *not* write Ping Pong! Just the music! He'd appreciate that comment and the music was the best bit, of course), he followed his own path even though that might have made his life more difficult but, most of all, he cared about things. He cared about art, politics, people, the planet, music, .... this could go on forever. But beneath that painfully shy exterior lay a deep personality and that's why he found his home in forums, where he could communicate with people on a deep/shallow level who wouldn't take things at face value.
Ultimately, I could write for days and weeks and still not do him justice. I could write 50 different tributes (and I'm not kidding). All I know is that the world is a worse place for Joffa not being in it. Mine certainly is. He changed my view of the world, was the best of mates and as a confirmed atheist I hope I'm wrong but relieved that he won't be in any pain any more.
But that's just my view and my heart goes out to others who will be devastated to not be around him any more. He loved his family and we talked about them a lot. He was just a normal working class lad from Widnes who got to play around with things and be creative. That view might be out of fashion, but I don't give a shit and neither did Joff.
A class act, Jof. But at least you knew I thought that. Will f*cking miss you loads, mate, knowing we'll never speak again.
Sob, sob ... forever.
P.S. If the spelling and variation of Jonathan Smith's names is a distraction then tough. I could never work it out and he changed it constantly. Love, Bernie Dugggs.
That's how I finished this brief announcement. "Sob, Sob" was a character that Jof invented in his teens. He was a gifted cartoonist. He was a gifted film-maker, artist, human being and games programmer as well and, although I never heard him, I'm sure he was a gifted DJ too. Jof excelled at everything he did, apart perhaps from his inability to deal with most human beings face to face. Don't get me wrong, he was funny as hell and his friends loved him to bits, but human contact was a much bigger struggle for him than anything else. Particularly with women. But I knew him in his 20s mainly, so maybe that track record improved.
Which brings us back to Sob, Sob! We'd known each other quite a while before he started to show me his 'other' artwork, away from games. Sob, sob would go through life with the best of hopes and intentions but life would turn back on him and the final frame would just feature him saying 'Sob, sob'. Pure Joffa. Laughing at emotions and melancholia (he was a Widnes lad, after all) but being painfully aware of them. He always cared much more about films and art than he did about games, but games gave him an immediate outlet for his artistic bent and, better still, he turned out to be a top, top technician.
He never sucked up, never made 'the right move' and never attempted to grab the limelight when I knew him. He was anti-fame and virtually anti-recognition, which is why he originally wasn't held in the same regard as people like the teams at Ultimate, Imagine, the Matthew Smith's et. al. His games were appreciated by kids in bedrooms, though, and when those kids revisited their youthful years on forums at WOS, (where he used another old alias of frobush), he discovered that actually people did love him and his work and I think (mainly judging from his postings) he enjoyed the appreciation more than I ever remember him enjoying the original experience of being a games programmer. I'm so glad that he found that appreciation in the end. He always knew he was good, but to be loved by people who would accept his eccentricities was a different thing altogether.
Ah, eccentricities! Many of the tributes have mentioned him being as daft as a brush. There's no question that he had an enormous internal world of imagination and feelings, but I also remember him as being incredibly down to earth and although we'd have a brilliant laugh and he loved the absurd, he wasn't quite as crazy as he seemed from some of the WOS forum postings. But Jof's big thing was that he was always just having a laugh anyway. He was, but that was often to cover up a pretty deep and emotional guy. I think he liked to play up to being a little crazy. But, as many forum posters have recognised, everything was just a big piss-take with Jof. That was his form of anarchy.
I suppose by some standard definition of these things, we lost touch. Actually, we didn't and we'd have the occasional burst of contact, a couple of days mail flurry or a long phone call and everything would instantly feel the same as the old days, but we hadn't spent much time together for a long time. Therein lies the dilemma. My guilt is nothing compared to the pain he obviously went through recently and his family are going through now but I remember him in happier times and wish I'd done more to make him happier later on. I was delighted when we discussed him getting into DJ-ing and partying because I knew he'd have a great time, open up to other people a lot more and it might make him happier. Actually, I remember seeing him in that time and he did seem a lot happier and had changed and I was reassured. But he deserved better from me.
When I saw last year's Byte Back conference being organised, I stuck it in my diary. I was going to turn up and surprise him and was really looking forward to it. Then, sigh, sh*t happened and I couldn't go. I wish I had now, or checked the forums in May or June and could have seen him again.
Joff achieved so much in his life, regardless of whether he thought he had. He did certain things with a Spectrum that others hadn't yet (although he did *not* write Ping Pong! Just the music! He'd appreciate that comment and the music was the best bit, of course
), he followed his own path even though that might have made his life more difficult but, most of all, he cared about things. He cared about art, politics, people, the planet, music, .... this could go on forever. But beneath that painfully shy exterior lay a deep personality and that's why he found his home in forums, where he could communicate with people on a deep/shallow level who wouldn't take things at face value. Ultimately, I could write for days and weeks and still not do him justice. I could write 50 different tributes (and I'm not kidding). All I know is that the world is a worse place for Joffa not being in it. Mine certainly is. He changed my view of the world, was the best of mates and as a confirmed atheist I hope I'm wrong but relieved that he won't be in any pain any more.
But that's just my view and my heart goes out to others who will be devastated to not be around him any more. He loved his family and we talked about them a lot. He was just a normal working class lad from Widnes who got to play around with things and be creative. That view might be out of fashion, but I don't give a shit and neither did Joff.
A class act, Jof. But at least you knew I thought that. Will f*cking miss you loads, mate, knowing we'll never speak again.
Sob, sob ... forever.
P.S. If the spelling and variation of Jonathan Smith's names is a distraction then tough. I could never work it out and he changed it constantly. Love, Bernie Dugggs.
Monday, June 28. 2010
Joffa Smifff - One of a kind. I'll miss you
Sunday, June 13. 2010
Marco Update
Regular readers will remember that my daughter and I sponsored a guide dog puppy called Marco.
In that post I highlighted my daughter's sinister plan :-
"... she seemed most interested in the section that explained that not all
puppies make the grade but then they are re-homed. I had visions of her
following the puppy around during his training and dangling dog biscuits
in front of him so he would screw up his training and need to be
re-homed. Her home being the obvious destination!"
Well maybe I shouldn't have tempted fate. We received a letter from Guide Dogs. (The letter is dated March 2010, which shows how far I've fallen behind with some things!). Here's a small section of the letter.
"Well, what a journey it's been! When Miss Burns first met him, Marco was just a small puppy, still unsure on his paws and learning to find his way in the world.
Guide dog trainees are constantly undergoing assessment, so that any issue can be addressed quickly and additional training can be arranged. There are a number of character traits which, although they may be normal behaviour for pet dogs, in a guide dog it would potentially pose a safety risk for its owner. Things such as chasing cats, pulling on the lead and food scavenging are just a few of these. Although Marco was progressing really well in all other aspects of his training, he is, like so many dogs, food obsessed. Which means that everything else takes second place if there is food nearby and this, of course, would be unsafe for his guide dog owner. Sadly, this meant that Marco had to be withdrawn from the guide dog training programme.
We are very disappointed that Marco was not able to make the grade but hope you will understand that nothing short of perfection is acceptable and our primary consideration is the safety of our guide dog owners and the welfare of our dogs. Marco has now been rehomed with a loving family and is settling in well with his new life as a pet dog. We will be sending Miss Burns their final pupdate which shows Marco with his new family shortly."
Something about this still makes me chuckle. I have a strong suspicion that Marco may have witnessed some of the hard working life of a Guide Dog and decided he would chase down food at every oppportunity! Nice try, Marco, and I hope you have a loving home in your near future.
Of course, his name-sake is an entirely different animal - dependable, hard-working and so forth so I would never suggest that his eating habits might get in the way one day!
Oh, and just because Marco didn't quite make the grade, the important business of training Guide Dogs never ends, so here, for example is another young pup looking for a sponsor. His name is Garth.
If you're interested, the Guide Dogs website explains how.
In that post I highlighted my daughter's sinister plan :-
"... she seemed most interested in the section that explained that not all
puppies make the grade but then they are re-homed. I had visions of her
following the puppy around during his training and dangling dog biscuits
in front of him so he would screw up his training and need to be
re-homed. Her home being the obvious destination!"
Well maybe I shouldn't have tempted fate. We received a letter from Guide Dogs. (The letter is dated March 2010, which shows how far I've fallen behind with some things!). Here's a small section of the letter.
"Well, what a journey it's been! When Miss Burns first met him, Marco was just a small puppy, still unsure on his paws and learning to find his way in the world.
Guide dog trainees are constantly undergoing assessment, so that any issue can be addressed quickly and additional training can be arranged. There are a number of character traits which, although they may be normal behaviour for pet dogs, in a guide dog it would potentially pose a safety risk for its owner. Things such as chasing cats, pulling on the lead and food scavenging are just a few of these. Although Marco was progressing really well in all other aspects of his training, he is, like so many dogs, food obsessed. Which means that everything else takes second place if there is food nearby and this, of course, would be unsafe for his guide dog owner. Sadly, this meant that Marco had to be withdrawn from the guide dog training programme.
We are very disappointed that Marco was not able to make the grade but hope you will understand that nothing short of perfection is acceptable and our primary consideration is the safety of our guide dog owners and the welfare of our dogs. Marco has now been rehomed with a loving family and is settling in well with his new life as a pet dog. We will be sending Miss Burns their final pupdate which shows Marco with his new family shortly."
Something about this still makes me chuckle. I have a strong suspicion that Marco may have witnessed some of the hard working life of a Guide Dog and decided he would chase down food at every oppportunity! Nice try, Marco, and I hope you have a loving home in your near future.
Of course, his name-sake is an entirely different animal - dependable, hard-working and so forth so I would never suggest that his eating habits might get in the way one day!
Oh, and just because Marco didn't quite make the grade, the important business of training Guide Dogs never ends, so here, for example is another young pup looking for a sponsor. His name is Garth.
A photo of the very cute, Garth, a golden retriever cross Lab puppy waiting to serve.
If you're interested, the Guide Dogs website explains how.
Sunday, March 7. 2010
ZX Spectrum Stuff
A couple of outstanding Ping Pong-related links on the ZX Spectrum Games blog that I've been meaning to post for a while.
The first is an interview that I did with those guys via email. It might not be too interesting and, reading it back, I could have gone on for a lot longer (which won't be surprising to those who know me) but if I had to pick out the most important bit, it would be this ....
"But I would definitely say my entire career grew out of those Spectrum
experiences and those skills have been remarkably resilient to different
systems, applications and new things I need to take on. I wish there
were a few more games programmers around because the business apps world
might be a lot better!"
I keep meaning to blog about that.
Hopefully the fact that I agreed to the interview and eventually got around to it (sorry, guys!) wasn't the reason for the good review of Ping Pong
The first is an interview that I did with those guys via email. It might not be too interesting and, reading it back, I could have gone on for a lot longer (which won't be surprising to those who know me
) but if I had to pick out the most important bit, it would be this ...."But I would definitely say my entire career grew out of those Spectrum
experiences and those skills have been remarkably resilient to different
systems, applications and new things I need to take on. I wish there
were a few more games programmers around because the business apps world
might be a lot better!"
I keep meaning to blog about that.
Hopefully the fact that I agreed to the interview and eventually got around to it (sorry, guys!) wasn't the reason for the good review of Ping Pong
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